Doctor Who? And Seven Other Tough Questions

Now in its 8th season since being rebooted in 2005, Doctor Who has taken the modern world by storm. With its quirky band of lead actors and supporting cast, Doctor Who has devoted fans and new viewers alike dying to know the answer to one simple question: Doctor Who?

Turns out, viewers are dying to know the answers to all sorts of other questions, too. Thankfully, I've taken the time to research the show and have some answers. 

1. Doctor Who?

  Screenshot via BBC America courtsey of Wikipedia.org

Screenshot via BBC America courtsey of Wikipedia.org

Christopher Eccleston. David Tennant. Matt Smith. And now, Peter Capaldi. I don't know what is so hard about this but the show's creators clearly list the name of the Doctor in the opening credits. I have included a screenshot above for reference. I suspect that fans of the show prefer the thrill of the chase to a lasting relationship and choose to carry on their quest for the name of the Doctor. 

2. Doctor to Whom?

I spent quite a bit more time wrapping my head around this question. Clearly, the Doctor is a Doctor to someone. If a doctor sits in a forest and a tree falls on him but before that tree fell he hadn't seen any patients in his entire life, was he ever a doctor at all? Obviously not, so the question stands: Doctor to whom? After watching every episode and consulting multiple grammar websites to ensure I was using "to whom" correctly, I arrived at a conclusion. The Doctor is a doctor to himself. Well, himself and everyone else in the universe except for the bad guys. Case in point:

  Image via I Forgot to Check courtesy of Wikipedia.org

Image via I Forgot to Check courtesy of Wikipedia.org

You can see here Rory Williams, who apparently is also a train named Stanley, at least according to this internet image I found. Rory/Stanley is one of the Doctor's favorite patients. Rory spends several series of Doctor Who being a total jerkwad and I hate him.

3. Doctor, Whatsit?

  Image via Somewhere on the Internet, For Pete's Sake, Calm Down courtesy of Wikipedia.org

Image via Somewhere on the Internet, For Pete's Sake, Calm Down courtesy of Wikipedia.org

Many fans upon their first few viewings will ask themselves "Doctor, whatsit?" This question refers to the strange device The Doctor carries with him, the Sonic Screwdriver. The Sonic, as it is simply referred to by the show's writers and characters, is really just a plot device inherited from the original Doctor Who seasons from the 60s, before special effects were financially feasible or possible or en vogue. One of the show's original writers, Don Riggle, is on the record with the following explanation:

"We came up with the idea for the Sonic Screwdriver while we were stuck in the writing room. We could not get out and we had been in there for hours. Finally, a repairman came and used a regular screwdriver to get us out. One of the other writers turned to me and said, 'haha, wow, this would have been over much sooner if we had a Sonic Screwdriver. By the way, let's add the concept of the Sonic Screwdriver to the series.' And the rest was history!"

If that's not an explanation then I don't know what is. 

4. Doctor, Please!

Don't sass me like that, Doctor! Also, that's not a question. Next.

5. Doctor, How?

Throughout his adventures, the Doctor does many cool things. He travels through space, time and the 4th dimension that only exists at Disney World movie theaters where fans blow strings at your legs like rats are running by and also your dad goes on that ride where they take you into the human body and the blood stream but you're too scared to go and he ends up getting sick so at least you can feel a little vindicated about your irrational fears. So how does he do this all within the space of one 55 minute episode? The answer is his TARGUS, which is his magic police shed that is also a tie-in to the Targus Corporation, maker of reliable laptop, smartphone and tablet cases. Fans of the show know the TARGUS's signature description, "It's bigger on the inside, the same size on the outside, and it gets me, The Doctor, where I need to go—on time and in a reasonable fashion, I might add." The doctor repeats this phrase whenever he gets the chance, basically.  

The TARGUS, shown here with a Dalek, the Doctor's primary foe, is how the Doctor gets around the universe and space and time or whatever. Fans of the show may be quick to correct me, saying that the name is actually TARDIS, but if you consult the original script, it is indeed TARGUS. I looked this up. Believe me.

  Image via BBC News courtesy of Wikipedia.org

Image via BBC News courtesy of Wikipedia.org

6. Doctor, Why?

So far, I've answered some tough questions: who is the Doctor, who is he serving, what is he carrying, and how is he doing all of that? Now it's time to answer an equally important question: Doctor, why? Why are you doing all of this? After watching every episode, I've come to an important conclusion: he's doing this to save humanity. He says it in almost every episode and definitely in most of the dramatic moments, but most viewers are too caught up in the moment to notice the clues. I invite viewers both new and old to try a little harder next time.

7. Doctor, When? 

The Doctor seems to know everything. During a scene in the third season, the Doctor looks directly into the camera and pauses for several minutes. During these few minutes, I screamed at my computer repeatedly. I asked him many things, including questions about when I would die or why I was having trouble maintaining a healthy diet. He answered none of them.

  Stop ignoring me, Doctor, courtesy of Wikipedia.org

Stop ignoring me, Doctor, courtesy of Wikipedia.org