Five Types of Millennials and How to Talk Down to Them

Marketers, take note: Millennials are here to stay. And they're not just sitting in coffee shops or looking for authentic experiences. They're walking the streets, having real conversations, and looking into shop windows. I've combed through research and identified the 5 types of millennials that you should be talking down to with your marketing efforts.

1. THE TRADITIONAL MILLENNIAL

Some may argue about what age group actually defines being a millennial, but few will argue with the identity of the Traditional Millennial. The Traditional Millennial works in an agency setting, generally disapproves of hoverboards and uses a smart phone. And, contrary to popular belief, the Traditional Millennial likes authentic experiences. 

How to talk down to me:

Copy taken verbatim from the latest memes. 

2. THE WANDERING WILLENNIAL

The Wandering Willennial is a true 90's kid, constantly wandering from one digital media experience to another looking for the next hottest DJ Khaled Snapchat. Left Shark. G.O.O.D. Fridays. TGI Fridays. Well-designed store fronts.

How to talk down to me:

Emojis, but only ones a #90sKid would remember.

3. THE BILLENNIAL

Some millennials won't always claim to be millennials. They're Billennials! Maybe they're a bit older or younger, or just don't like the label "millennial." Doesn't matter! They're actually millennials! You'll find this group standing at your local market street, looking in shop windows at trinkets and gizmos.

How to talk down to me:

Robotic bleeps and blurbs, sponsored blog posts.

4. THE GEN-X-ILLENNIAL

Whoa there! Looks like we forgot a generation between the Baby Boomers and Millennials. Let’s lump them in with the Millennials! Gen-X-illennials hate their new label. They have a blog. They won't admit it to their Snapchat friends but they love toy trains at Christmastime, especially in the window of the local soda shop. 

How to talk down to me:

Plant news articles about the dangers of Snapchat. 

5. THE TECH-ILLENNIAL

You can find the Tech-illennials exclusively in ads for the Samsung Galaxy Edge Note+ Pen Mode. They usually sit in lines or walk outside of Apple Stores. Don’t disturb them, though! They hate being talked down to when they’re looking at their huge pocket computers. When they're not browsing Snapchat, they're pressing their foreheads against the window of the abandoned shop next to Chipotle, imagining what it would like to be a store owner and how many antique yard tools they could fit into a window display of their very own. 

How to talk down to me:

Second-screen activations for re-runs of Frasier.