7 Insights You Won't Find in Google Search Results

Many people, both professional and otherwise, turn to Google for key insights about their industry. But does Google know everything? The following list is seven key insights you won't find in any Google searches, mostly because I'm making them up as I write this.

1. The customer is always wrong, along with the seller and everyone else in the product lifecycle. 

Google search results might tell you that the customer is always right, or that the seller is always right, but what Google won't tell you is that everyone is wrong. And I mean everyone, not just your second- and third-degree connections on LinkedIn. Think about it. If the customer is always right, all your products would be free and you would be their Uber driver until you die. If the seller is always right, everything costs too much and no one buys anything. No one wins in either situation. Well, actually, the customer being right sounds pretty sweet. But no, everyone is wrong. 

2. That container doesn't go there, it goes in the shelf behind you.

Okay, this insight is admittedly a little esoteric. I'm not sure who it's meant for, but it will make sense to someone and when they find it, I'm sure they'll be glad that at least one Google search result exists for their query. 

3. Calendars are wrong.

Let's face facts, the modern calendar is a flawed product. Twelve months, 365 days, and 12 beautiful photos of castles in Ireland? Which of these three is a part of the problem? It's hard to say, but if you're doing research about calendars being right, you're being lied to. Or is it layed to? 

4. Conversion rates should always exceed 100%. 

You'll hear a lot about conversion rates if you browse the www for long enough. People will try to tell you what conversion rate goes with which industry and how many of your users you should hit up for the big bucks. Well listen no more, I'm here to tell you that the big bucks need to come from everyone. If your users aren't converting on your eCommerce page at least two or three times in a given session, you're doing it wrong. Get them to spend the big bucks, and get them to spend the big bucks more than once or twice. Bill Gates didn't get rich watching people walk into his store and buy just one Microsoft computer.

5. Bill Gates didn't get rich watching people walk into his store and buy just one Microsoft computer.

People often look to Bill Gates for insights, and let me tell you. He didn't let his conversion rates sit below 100%. Every day he'd put on his shop apron, sit in his computer store and give his customers the old one-two-three sales pitch — you know the one. That's how he turned Microsoft Computers into a billion dollar enterprise and gave his money to charity.

6. If the numbers are up, the charts must come down.

Okay, everyone. Some simple logic here if you're looking for this kind of insight. If you're at a board meeting in your high-rise office, you're going to be excited that the numbers are up. But that means that the charts must come down, to make room for new charts with better numbers than before. Just throw the old charts away, you won't need those anymore.

7. The key demographic is dead.

I really don't want to be the one to break this to you, but that key demographic your supervisor asked you to research? They have passed away. I am very sorry to report this, and Google search results certainly won't clue you in on this sad news. My condolences to your key demographic's friends and family. Please consider them for your next target market after an appropriate grieving period.