For Your Consideration: Two New Streamlined Typefaces for the Modern World

Hello. It's me again, expert typeface designer Stuart Larvinggood. I'm here to introduce two of my latest creations, inspired by a classic typeface and the cycling & culinary worlds. 

INSPIRATION

In cycling, drillium is known as the process of drilling holes in equipment for the sake of a reduction in weight. The practice can be dangerous — too many holes can ruin the structural integrity of the materials. But its danger is perhaps some of its allure. It's fun to be a bad boy. 

In the culinary world, swiss chees [sic] is a variety of chees [sic] famous for its unique hole-filled texture, a byproduct of propionibacteria consuming lactic acid during the late stages of production. The carbon dioxide produced by these bacteria create irregular fields of bubbles and thus the holes found in a slice of swiss chees [sic]. 

Finally, I was inspired by Helvetica, a typeface that needs no introduction as it is one of the most prominent typefaces of the 20th and 21st centuries:

INTRODUCING... HOLVETICA

The first of the two typefaces you'll see today is Holvetica. It draws inspiration from all three of the areas discussed above. This streamlined re-interpretation of the classic Helvetica is nothing short of a perfect typeface. It's fast, lean, and can be read at any distance or in any orientation. Put it on a t-shirt, a highway sign, or a moon lander. I dare you to find a use case where this typeface won't draw eyes and garner praise. 

But what about the cases where you wouldn't be able to use Holvetica? For that, I designed Wholvetica.

ALSO INTRODUCING... WHOLVETICA

It's a typeface that completes itself, like two lovers exchanging vows on their wedding day. It's perfect for wedding invitations, wedding seating charts, and even non-wedding use cases, like bar or bat mitzvahs. Take a look below:

What will I think of next? Maybe I should design the perfect typeface for use on cell phones, because I'm clearly phoning things in. But if you have any suggestions for a typeface I could design next, drop them in the comments below. It would cheer me up, and I really need cheering up right now. I'm just going through a lot, you know? This is the only thing that makes me happy and I'm terrible at it. Do you know how that makes me feel? Would it hurt to throw me a bone every now and then? For pete's sake, help a guy out for once. It's the least you could do. And, look. I didn't bring you here to berate you. I know we've all got places to be and people to see. But if you think about your life's work, and your passions in life, like great typography, and you realize that everything you know is just crumbling all around you, would it hurt to just blurt out a few things to keep a guy going? Something like, "what about a typeface for seaplanes?" or "what about a typeface that keeps me from getting a hangover?" I don't even know how that would work but at least you could suggest it? Am I making myself clear? I'd hate to be misunderstood at this point. Because the last thing a guy who makes great typefaces wants to hear is that he's being misunderstood. Really, all I want to hear right now is some great ideas for new typefaces, like "what about a typeface that changes color when you pee on it" or "what about a typeface that knows when you've read it and changes into pictures of dogs or cats or something." If I could just get one or two ideas like that, GOLDEN ideas like that, I'd be set for at least another few weeks. Can you help me out? Can you do that for me? I really, truthfully, very much so thank you in advance. Thank you. Thank you. I'll say it again: Thank you.